Doubt

This morning in worship I had the Revelations quote "Lo I stand at the door and knock" in my head but probably for the wrong reason. At issue was the tedium I feel at rehashing the role of Christ every worship, and frequently in day to day life. I've never been a born again Christian. I can relate to a sense of descending power and emotion that God provides in some circumstance but I agree with what the quietists said 150 years ago. It is not the only form that the spirit illuminates our lives with and it is not the most important one. When I hear the story of God giving his only son that all men may be free from sin, I mentally throw up my hands and say what's the point. Sure sometimes Christ stands at the door and knocks loudly and clearly. But importantly, he doesn't always. Sometimes he knocks so quietly we can't discern it. Sometimes we're confused by where the banging is coming from. Sometimes we open the wrong door, sometimes we forget to open the security door. If I'm laboring the metaphor it's because I get so tired of the biblical ones being interpreted one way. But one message during worship did introduce doubt to the gathered meeting. And when it did, the worship fell into place for me and I could relax and open some doors. Worship requires a bit of doubt I think.